What's My Story
Chasing acceptance...being chased by love
Beth
Before I had a relationship with Jesus, I spent a good amount of energy trying to earn the approval and acceptance of those around me...even my family.
I worked hard at earning "accomphlishments." In a way, I was hoping to find worth and value through achievements. However, achievements proved to be very disappointing and their "glory" was only fleeting. By the time I graduated from college, I felt worthless and alone.
Then I joined a ladies' study group, and I came to understand that Jesus is the source of all value and worth. One evening, while studying alone, I realized that I would never be "good enough." Thankfully, I also realized that I didn't have to be "good enough" because Jesus is!
From that night on, my fear of failure and rejection was diminished. Not only that, but my desires and motivations changed. Also, my responses to the people in my life changed. Once I had been released from working to earn their approval, I was freed up to love and serve those around me more selflessly and generously. My relationships were completely changed.
One relationship that improved greatly was my marriage. Recognizing that my security came from Jesus, I no longer placed unreasonable expectations on my husband. I was less defensive and less guarded with him. I began to trust him more freely. My focus changed from "How should he love me?" to "How can I better love him?"
As fulfilling as my marriage is today, there is One who loves me better and offers fullness of life forever. His name is Jesus. And if I were to die right this instant, I am certain that I would be with Him in heaven.